Raise Your Standards. Your Life Depends On It.
One of the inspirational pages that I follow posted a tweet that asked, “What advice completely changed your life?” I was surprisingly stumped, because I actually had to sit and think which single piece of advice completely changed my life, along with my outlook on it. I mean, how is it possible to pick just one?
I cerebrated for a while and finally concluded that it was something Meghan Markle (now, Duchess of Sussex) said that has stuck to me like glue: “Keep your standards high, and your self-acceptance higher.” I remember when I first happened upon Meghan’s blog, long before her days as a Royal, I quickly became immersed in the content because it was just so darn empowering!
Often times, we as young women are so hard on and doubtful of ourselves; we don’t give ourselves enough credit. We maneuver through most of our life people-pleasing, people-chasing, questioning our instinctual judgement, shrinking ourselves to fit into places we are simply too grand for, and berating ourselves when we can’t. And more often of times, we’re so busy worrying about how others will perceive us, that we don’t take the time to actually form a true perception of our magnificent selves.
With all these things of self-chastisement, comes standardless habits: Saying yes when you really want to say no. Pursuing or accepting any and every offer simply because it seems like an opportunity. Allowing and engaging in lackluster friendships and relationships. Serving yourself in bite-sized pieces out of fear that others won’t be able to wholly digest your big personality.
I clung to the advice Meghan so graciously delivered, because there was such truth in it. Heighten your standards and keep them there. You’ll start to see that better quality things are entering your life. Do away with selling yourself short. Demonstrate your self-respect by being very judicious when choosing who and what to allow in your life. Set your standards on the heights of healthy, well-intentioned, reciprocating energy, and your boundaries will naturally form. Remember, compromising your standards is a settlement, and settling is the gateway to mediocrity; there’s absolutely nothing to be gained there. Until you learn to harness your strength and unique power as a woman, there will always be an uneven exchange of things between you and your counterparts. So, offer yourself some grace and mercy, and make it a habit to be as gentle and forgiving with yourself, for as many times as you need to be, when chartering the very trying territories of maintaining your boundaries.